Too Good To Pass Up!

I haven't blogged in a little while, but I saw this little news item today and it was too funny to pass up:

http://www.wesh.com/news/17357570/detail.html

Note to self: when running from someone, never hide inside a port-o-let!

Because I'm A Man...

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will
fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in.
Calling AAA is not an option. I will win.
______________________________________________

Because I'm a man , when the car isn't running very well,
I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what
I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say
to the other, 'I used to be able to fix these things, but now
with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know
where to start.' We will then drink a couple of beers and
break wind, as a form of holy communion.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone
to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and
moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so
for you, this is no problem.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic
groceries at the store, like beer, milk or bread. I cannot be
expected to find exotic items like 'cumin' or 'tofu.' For all I
know, these are the same thing.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops
working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that
this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person
gets here and has to put it back together.
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote
control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been
misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it.....though
one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator.....
( applies to engineers mainly).
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm
thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, cars,
sex, sports or sex. I have to make up something else when
you ask, so don't ask.
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or
have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she
calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever
you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it.
And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the
movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't
...and if you are feeling amorous afterwards....then I will
certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to
others.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I
thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine,
too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it,
looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go
now?
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2008, I
will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry,
the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes,
and I'll do the rest...... Like wandering around in the garden
with a beer wondering what to do.

This has been a public service message for women to help them better understand men

Alright, already!

OK...OK...OK...here's a blog post (finally).

My old friend and "brother from another mother" Richard Gaspard has made it his mission in life to harass me on the first of every month until I post something on my blog again, so here I go.

I've been really busy for the last few months working on building up my guitar teaching business. You can check it out here:

http://coloradoguitarlessons.com

There's a teaching blog on that site that I've been trying to update more frequently than this one...but all that teaching foolishness has forced me to neglect the most important aspect of my life: my personal blog!

So, to Rich and everyone else I've inadvertently offended, rejected, neglected or disrespected by not blogging recently, I apologize whole-heartedly. :>)

April Fools!

Google is pretty famous for their April Fool's Day pranks. Here's one of many they pulled yesterday...check it out:

Gmail Custom Time

Punched!

hulu.com...and New Amsterdam

Some friends turned me onto a cool new website: hulu.com.

Don't ask me how they got the name...the cool thing is that there are TONS of free streaming TV shows and movies on this site, some even in HD.

Forget buying TV episodes on iTunes...just tune into hulu.com to watch what you want, when you want. It's really cool...all you have to do is watch a 5 second ad before the show starts. That beats network TV...

My favorite new show of the season is New Amsterdam. If you haven't seen it, you should check it out...in fact, you can watch the pilot episode right here:

Witchcraft or Science...You Decide!

OK...this one comes from the medieval home remedy file.

Did you know that a treatment of "pig bladder powder" can make a severed finger grow back? This guy accidentally cut off one of his finger tips, and he sprinkled some powder made of ground-up pig bladder (among other things) on the stubby remains. Lo and behold, 4 weeks later the finger tip grew back...nail and all.

Check out the video footage at this link:

http://gizmodo.com/372617/pig-bladder-powder-regrows-fingers

I'm too gullible sometimes, so someone please slap me if this is fake. :>)

Comic Relief

I haven't blogged for like a month, so I thought I'd share a couple of funny videos a friend sent me today:

The Late, Great Ronald Reagan

Since we're lamenting the passing of some great people, I thought I'd throw in this guy. One of the greatest presidents we've had in the US, and a pretty witty fellow, as well.

My wife sent me some quotes from Reagan this morning, so I thought I'd share them with you:


'Here's my strategy on the Cold War: We win, they lose.'
- Ronald Reagan

'The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'
- Ronald Reagan

'The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant; it's just that they know so much that isn't so.'
- Ronald Reagan

'Of the four wars in my lifetime, none came about because the U.S. was too strong.'
- Ronald Reagan

'I have wondered at times about what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress.'
- Ronald Reagan

'The taxpayer: That's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination.'
- Ronald Reagan

'Government is like a baby: An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.'
- Ronald Reagan

'The nearest thing to eternal life we will ever see on this earth is a government program.'
- Ronald Reagan

'I've laid down the law, though, to everyone from now on about anything that happens: no matter what time it is, wake me, even if it's in the middle of a Cabinet meeting.'
- Ronald Reagan

'It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first.'
- Ronald Reagan

'Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.'
- Ronald Reagan

'Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed, there are many rewards; if you disgrace yourself, you can always write a book.'
- Ronald Reagan

'No arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is as formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women.'
- Ronald Reagan

'If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under.'
- Ronald Reagan

The Late, Great Larry Norman

Just heard that Larry Norman passed away. Here's a tribute written by my friend JT:

he passed away yesterday.
many of you are to young to
have known him or been
exposed to his light, sadly...
i saw him twice- in california.
he was the music of the 'Jesus Movement.'
axel rose sent him roses (of course) during
a hospital stay during the 80's.
he influenced dylan, the fab four, the stones and more...
george martin produced one of his albums.
those were revolutionary times; he was a giant...
only visiting this planet!
i rejoice (with him) now that he is "in another land!!"
Larry Norman only wished that we'd all be ready....